Monday, 6 March 2017

A Call For Fathers To Stand And Be Accountable

A Call For Fathers To Stand And Be Accountable 


As I was on my  weekly run I came across rather pleasant moment; a father playing catch with his son. That would be nice I thought to myself as I grew up I had very little opportunity to bond with my father because usually had to work doing 12 hour shifts during weekdays. He worked weekends too, and even when he had his days off those would be spent with him usually resting and I'm in my twenties and the man who put us through school and been there since childhood seems more like a stranger to me.

That moment at the park may seem small to some, but a father spending time with their child is the most important thing he could do and being a provider is just simply won't make for the life lessons that can be taught by proper male figure. When it's said and done your child will be grateful for the money spent them while growing up, but they also remember how you never had time to spend with and this carries profound effects which reverberate well into your child's future.

All that stated above pails in comparison to growing up without your father being present. I have two cousins, half brothers and half sister who grew up without a father being present and it's safe to say the deck was stacked heavily for them to succeed. Both my cousins although quite witty and intelligent  went down the wrong road because of a lack of guidance, despite going to the best schools money could buy one finished school at the age of 20 and other is 17 years, and is still attending the lower grades. And they also had a history with drug use which accounts for much of their poor life decisions.

As for my half siblings my half brother is currently in a stable job, but has his struggles too (he's a father of 2 year-old who doesn't live at home with him because of work). My oldest half brother is currently serving another stint in prison while my half sister has struggled after finishing school eight years ago . Taking stock of all that from what I can see how not having a father or losing a father figure (my grand pa) affected my relatives. So complaining about the lack of connection with my father seems like nothing compared to the real challenge of living without a father in the household.

Moving on from all that it's pleasant to see some young fathers taking responsibility for their children and playing an ever present role in the their lives. Nobody can ever state how important these fathers are to society as whole as much as they are to their children.

From research it's clear that not having a father present has devastating consequences on both genders and affects them in different ways. Firstly for daughters when dealing with the opposite sex they adopt an adversarial outlook on relationships (me vs him), she'll be bossy and demanding which can try any man’s patience which means he won't stick around for too long.

Most fatherless daughters have a tendency for approval seeking behavior looking for attention in whichever way they can which may explain why they may be more prone to take part in risky sexual behavior.

Then as for the fatherless sons it's been shown that a large portion of our prison population  lived in households where their fathers weren't present. They don’t have any positive male influence who can show them there are positive ways to portray positive values of masculinity. They then turn to crime, violence, drug and alcohol abide to show that they are “real men”.

For the new generation of fathers it is important to recognize the lasting effects you can have on your child's life if you willingly abandon the most important role you could ever play in your life.




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